361 THE ENDLESS.

I dunno where i should i start to write..
And dunno should i express everything out or not?
Everyone is asking,everyone is curious.
Why is our end day on 21/11/2009 the 361 days we belong to each other?
I saw the notes at his facebook
The tittle is LOVE YOU and is he tagged me.


-
-
-
-

Yesterday afternoon,i fetch you from LRT station, i was happy,we went to tropicana and we still can laugh together,smile and talk.holding your hand,and then we went to my college,intro u to my classmate.back to my house,let you rest and sleep.hugging you and kissed you.at night,we went to poppy.i though it was nice night.we drink dance together and hugging..evendore your dance quite funny but i happy to hug and dance with you but for small problem and some reason,we both bad mood for awhile.after club,i don't know what happen to us. Suddenly became so bad,we quarreled so badly.i also not understand why and how came like that.Until we both like sohai cried.I lost control untill wanna cut my hand and punch the floor many times. After that we still had a nice night and play somestuff..Before you went back ampang,we did it again and seem you are normal.I'm not expect that after you went back you made a decision.and cass told me that you don't want to continue anymore.i was shock and why before you went back you not going to tell me?.This thing can make me crazyI'm waiting for this 25 for our first year.Hope you calm down now and give me a chance.Love you.our pic memories in 361 days.the picture is uncountable.too many.just upload fews

You teach me how to love people
You teach me how to appreciated ppl
You teach me how to write love letter
You advise me about my future
-
-
-
and photos of us..
And i should be touch rite? am i?
But i was shocked by my respond that i am blank.
Because i understand him more than everyone,
This is the way he express the guilty when everything its become a fact.
I doesnt blame him always wanna be the one innocent .
I really don mind to be the person who being blame by others.

如果你是爱我的 你会让我快乐
如果我是爱你的 我会让你自由
让你拥有你要的生活


如果我们是爱得痛苦的 这不会有结果
我真的无所谓 我不怕一个人 我不怕寂寞 更不害怕承受委屈
我只想好好的做原来的自己 难道有错吗
我的原谅难道有这样不值钱吗？
为何要这样践踏 为何要这样残忍



I just don wan lost the rules of myself , I just don wan to changed to another person that is not yoanne anymore.
Why u cant try to understand?
U said u bring me go clubbing because u loved me,But i told u i don like to club and i just wanna spend time with u even just stay at house.That's really enough for me because u is the only wat i need.
I don wanna go because i knew,u will drunk and i will saw the differences u by my real eyes that nite..That the most i don wanna to see.
U cant see me how uncomfortable am i step intro the clubs.I tried to told myself,be happy Yoanne =)
U told me,Babe,tonight u help me count how much i drink,i wanna see my limit to drunk.This is my 3rd cup for tonight!
Im stunt and tears gonna drop because lasttime u ever told me like this.
Babe,i will not drunk if u r beside me because i wanna take care of u,so i cant drunk.
But now u asked me to takecare of u when u r drunk.U already forget last sunday u promised me that u wanna protect me and take care me no matter where...
Once ur mind just wanna drink,u forget...everything..
And again,ur happiness is build on my sadness.
And i saw u take the chivas bottle keep finding friend and said 5 sec or trying to let urself drunk.
I sit on the sofa and i don even dare to see u,i know i see the faces of u will make me being emo,and i don wanna cry
Ur friend 1 by 1 keep asking me,why u seem dint drunk?
Or
Yoanne,Are u okay?
I replied,because i never get myself drunk at club and i cant,i pointing him and say:Are him really look like this during the day he club at kl?
His friend dint dare to replied me anything..
I keep quiet and my mind is so clear.And u said,Hey i just wanna chill my friend ma,why u wanna blaming me and cant understand?He is get tipsy that time i knew.
On the way back home i dint even talked and just pretend nothing..
U will know how hard feeling if one day that character of us is oppesite.

Reach home u r 1st thing to do is ran up to upstair toilet and vomit.
After that went to ur bed and sleep.
I answered a call and u started suspect me that i betrayed u
But actually i just wanna a talked to express my feeling..
U seem mad and asked me who is that fella?
and u say u wanna call that ppl ..I don let u to do that,because i tot u will respect me at least a little bit?
U said if i dint tell u who is that and u gonna broke my sim's card and throw it away.
I tot u wont do that,i tot u wont that cruel and lost rational to treated me like that..
And i still don say anything and said that u break then..
And u did,i saw my eyes that u break my sim cards and throw outside..
U do forget without my number and i will lost contact with all family and my friends,they will finding me panic if cant call in at all..
I crying and finding the sim card like crazy at outside like i lost something is valueble..
I told him my mom will worry me and my relative at kl will worry me..i must found the sim card,i must get back my number.
But u let me know the fact,found aso useless,its broken because i do broke it just now..

I wanna talk with christine alot,and until now,i dint tell anyone of my friend at kk,and my family
I dint show anyone of them because its enough to let them worry me,and i cant let them hard feeling..
The only can let me not alone contact is lost，its broken .

我不会忘记那晚你拿刀说你爱我到要割手腕证明
你用拳头捶地上来发泄
我并没有觉得这样做是对的
但那时我只能阻止你这样做，我没多说
但或许这是冲动，伤害自己更会让我看不起
因为是威胁着我
不要把这种事发生在爱情里 这样的证明会让人觉得累


Im cold,just don wan to get chance to hurted more.
I scare will expect anything again..So i choose to being cold.
I go alone to find u,i back alone to leave you.
Reached home and viewed u facebook account as usual,after viewed my own profile
Saw u still asking ur fren when wanna club and don forget to ask u along.
And i knew,there's nth changing,u still u..i know is time to let u do wat u like..
And i don wanna stop u to having ur own life style that is not i wanted.
We two choose the different way since we leave kk.
Im not use to be advise ur future anymore..
Yes im not.


-
-
-
-

I just wanna go interview my work at kl myself
and u tot im not going alone or im got another reason to going out without u.
U said say yoanne go ahead,actually u no need i care or u r ignore me.Go find another guy better ,such as ***** and im not a good guy that poor and bad.
I said u will regret and i will remember wat u told me.
Finally u really found out this is the missunderstanding and u told me u wanna test my respond that he send me those msg really make me hurted.
U wanna test my respond and u dunno how pissed off i am that actually u never trust on me.
U said u r caring me,but at the same time u r suspecting me.
Everyone can not understanding me that my situation here,but u cant.
Because we ever promised that must always trusting each other and care each other before u come here.
U don understand how i feel ashame on myself when i living at relative house and they will keep asking me when i started working or they all told i already found work then i came kl..
So most of the time i only stay inside room.Because i feel so shame when ppl got a high expect to me but i dint did well as they tot.

-
-
-
I din blame or complain that u cant give my anything,or u cant help me anything over here.
Because the only on desire of me is we can being peaceful here and stop hurting.
But i forget one thing,something changed is cant get back with 100% as before.

In my mind i just save down our sweet memories,everything happy between us in these day
The sad and imprefect memories will be deleted.
You will set a place in my heart that is never get replace by others,but it just in heart we know.

I dunno how long time i need to recover..
Im trying harder..
Still will awake suddenly at midnite and sit on bed to cry
because the memories flash out without my permission.
And there's no u rub my tears out anymore
I dunno when can the tears stop dropping is for u..
Dunno when it become dry and no more tears inside
But at least,
I done this article with no crying...
I really dint...





一起躺着 也各自有梦
不争吵 不温柔 不分手 却不快乐
放弃努力 在做什么
就怕会更难过 只好装作我比你冷漠
你给的解释总是太晚
我已经疼痛的无法释然
听多了解释会让人失去信任
所以别指责 我敏感
很受气谈恋爱 苦涩的习惯
宝贝宝贝的叫着对方 只是无法改变习惯
在别人眼中 我们被羡慕甜蜜美满
才讽刺让心最酸
当爱情弄得的像折磨 又想要挽留什么



-
-
-

你连回答我朋友为什么我的SIM CARD会不见的勇气也没有
因为你惭愧吗
敢作要敢当 这样才会得到最后的尊重 知道吗

我突然真的好想家 好想好想家。。。。