Full Stop.?

这篇日记其实在两个星期前就应该完成了上传到部络格
但我不能鼓起勇气上传，我写不下去.
因为心真的很痛真的好痛
问题的答案早已在送你到机场那天已被天认定我们，
还没离开这里我们虽然距离很靠近但心早就很遥远
看见你离去的背影我有种说不出来的空虚感
我虽然害怕一个人，更担心你去到一个人的地方会很难熬 。

我没有哭出来因为我相信着
距离不会是我们的障碍，
我还怀着两个星期后会再跟你见面的期待

所以我没有哭。


为了你的生日我欺骗了大家，我说了谎。
我想让别人以为我们真的很好，
所以我骗了全部人
父母，身边的朋友，是他买了机票给我去陪你读过生日
，其实只有六分之一。
但我无怨无悔
我心甘情愿，
只要为他做的我真的都愿意，
我觉得很值得，
因为我不想在他生日的日子是一个人度过，
我想陪他，为他唱生日，第一个说生日快乐，
第一个把生日礼物交给他的人。


怎么知道在这两个星期的等待的日子中，
我们一直争吵。
他说是我太情绪化，是我想太多。
我不敢在那两个星期内一直出去，
我害怕钱用太多所以宁可在家里。
还以为能够跟他讲讲电话，
上上网聊聊~但我们只维持了见天。。。
他开始适应生活开始慢慢的遗忘了我其实很寂寞，
我其实是一个人。。
不懂该怎么说出口我真的很害怕一个人，
我不敢承认我不能适应没有他陪在身边的周末。
就连休假也不想，因为这天是我们可以待在一起一整天的日子。
我想忙碌不要想太多。
但，我还是几乎每晚流眼泪。。。。

两个星期后的那天到来了，
我很早就起床等着CHRISTINE 在我去机场。
路途中很期待，
很想快快见到他告诉他我真的很想很想他。


最后那5天我们更本没有很愉快，
他让我流泪，他让我发现很东西是我从前不知道的。
我知道了，我的眼泪对他来说早就开始没有什么大不了
因为就连我自己也开始厌倦了眼泪的自己，真的很累了。。
我离开的最后一天，也许勉强的不舍。
在搭飞机回去的路途真的很空虚，
还是最后一班机，因为我开始怀念从前有他坐在我隔壁的机座，
可以靠在他肩膀睡觉。。
但那天是一个完全不认识的陌生人坐在隔壁。。
当我到了KKIA，
开了手机看见他的信息，他问我有安全到达吗？
因为那个我们两个一起买的项链坠掉了，
但心我出事了。
我没事，但是象征了我们之间真的出事了。
因为我拥有的那个项链坠早在我去KL前一个星期掉了。
我不敢说因为我害怕这是一个征兆
象征我们的感情是时候画下句号了。
我不敢承认，我选择假装没事。
还天真的以为可以再买过就会没事了。
我忘了一句话，没有了勉强也是没有用的。


回来了两个星期发生更多事，
他告诉我开始爱上那里的生活。
认识了朋友，不再觉得无聊。
亲爱的我早就知道会这样
我知道一定会发生这样的问题。我忍耐着，
我开始慢慢崩溃着。。
他让我失望到了谷底，好难受。。
为什么可以那么忍心的一而再的摧毁着。。。
对你的不坦白我到底还需要怎样原谅？
原来不需要再怎么样。。
这种不是只有我一个人需要要承受的，
两个人的感情不应该只有一个人去承担着。
所以我做了这样的决定，画下句号。。。。。。。。



给最亲爱的：
你不要自责，你不要难过。我并不恨你，我并不怪你。
这个决定对我们来说最正确。不是吗？
谢谢你曾经是那个让我这么这么爱的人，
是你让我知道爱是这样美好，
谢谢你留下了那么多美好的回忆让我这一辈子都不可能遗忘的。。
为你做的一切我从未觉得不值得。
我很幸福，我真的很幸福的为你做了那么多。。
只是对不起，我拥有一个不够坚强的心。
我不能再这样的哭泣了。。
我会受不了的。


亲爱的,如果你看见我说的话，你会明白吗？
我好想说最后一次

BABY，I LOVE YOU
我好想看到他，抱着他说再见





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昨晚喝了好多，眼睛哭得好肿。
朋友看见我的狼狈，我没有保留的崩溃。
谢谢你们。我最好的朋友
。你们不会让我一个承受所以让我发泄。。。
不要担心我，因为哭过以后我会好好的。
不要安慰我了，不要担心我，不要同情我
我真的没什么，他是值得我这样做的。
相信我，我可以好起来的

Last night, drank a lot,eyes swollen a good cry.
A friend saw my panic, I did not keep the crash.
Thank you. My best friend


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好害怕留在这里，
害怕去我们曾经去过的地方
担心遇见我们认识的人问我关于我们发生的事
害怕解释我们到底怎么了
我现在

一直重复听着一首我自己都知道很痛的歌

蔡依林 一个人

从皮包里扯出我们的照片
沙发要移到客厅的另一边
晚饭后你可以多尝几口想念
已经没什么人会埋怨、
晴天阴天今天又是星期天
唯一的打算是心更乱一些
反正我不知道怎样打发时间
出门或不出门没差别
一个人
到底应该选右边或左边
两个人
每一次争吵都值得纪念
一个人
偶尔感到寂寞在所难免
你的气味还留在枕头边
一个人
我重新适应一切不方便
两个人
不一定就成全一个世界
一个人
关灯看见记忆的横切面
没有光线
过去那些情节更明显
Wow……
到底应该是右边或左边
呜……
更明显

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No one will keep blaming u smoking after meal,driving or inside ur room d
the card no smokin in room still working?will u remember and remind it smoking is not
good for health?
Sunday and monday is same day for me
Because my off day is belong to u my baby,now im alone
go where,do what aso same for me.isn't?
Everynite i need to sleep alone,with huging the doll u leave for me
smell it hardly,hug it tightly because it seem like you just beside me.
I will try my best to used to it the day without you.
No more sweet msg,no more argue ing,no more hugging no more kissing.
i miss u badly
=(

BURN

grrrrHH..!



gotta drive me crazy!!

duhh


to be continue

Tagged by Nelly

1) Name: Yoanne Ng
2) Birthday: 20/03/1990
3) Who forward u this: Nelly Chin
4) What u wish to get on ur birthday: Anything from everyone i loved
5) Most tension matters nowadays: relationship problems and career
6) Things that want to do: Earn money,strict diet,plan a new life move to kl
7) Any people u like : him
8) Out with who u feel the happiness + joy: My baby,My friend
9) What would u do when ur friends quarel: Missunderstanding
10) Want to go where with others: A vacation with beaches and shopping!
11) Christmas want to do: wanna go genting with him or more frens?
12) Wants to celebrate Christmas with who: baby n fren
13) Doing what recently: Working,hang out ing
14) How many siblings u have: 3 im the eldest
15) 1 Favourite English/Chinese Song: Love story -taylor smift
16) Favourite Colour: I don know!Its depand on mood
17) Do u flush water after went for toilet: Hmm,if not?
18) Like Male or Female: Ofcause Male.
19) What u want to say loudly: So tired!!!!
20) Dares to go toilet at midnight: Why not?I gonna pee at midnite sometimes
21) Who u hate now:the bitches
22) What u like to do now: sleep more than 10 hours!
23) Sleep look nice or not: hw i knw? Im so sure not.
24) The time now: 1am
25) Isnt it hate the people who forward u this: Wont hate la,she's nices
26) Body Weight: You will not like to know my weight
27) Today's weather: Cold like freezing
28) What u want to do after busy working: Sleep until satisfied
29) What happen after insomnia:
30) Will u bedwetting at night: with my saliva?HEEE XD
31) Will u drool at night: no i think?
32) Have eaten supper:Seldom
33) Happy things recently: nothing make me feeling happy recently
34) Do Freedom important to u: Ofcause
35) Who u think is the most sexy among ur friends:Fish Wong Chueng Fah
36) What do u think u are stupid or smart: Both
37) Do u like Dad or Mom: Are this question dai B?
38) Who u want to see the most right now: Him.
39) Do u like to watch drama: Damn like
40) Do u brave enough to tell the person that u hate "I Hate You"?: I dare!haha~I HATE YOU!

++Extra Questions++
When u intend to get married: Before 30 as well,if got someone married me
Do u like ur life:Absoulutely Yes
Do u believe Tarot Reading: So So.
Something u do before going to bed: Brush teeth,wash my face,put on skin care,take off my lens
Ur idol: No one
Favourite Season: Summer and Spring
Places that wants to go: Dubai
What kind of character u hate the most: Faker,Selfish,Coldblooded
Do u smoke: I love sisha
Do u drink: Sure.but not alcoholic
Do u cry often: More than twice a week,my tears doesn’t value
Do u smile often: Every day
Wants to sleep until what time: More than 10 hours per day,IMPOSSIBLE
Who u choose between friends and lover: Don ask me such question that no answer actually.
Which will u choose between chance and fate: Fate create chance,so both is relate
Do u very narcissistic: i dun think so
Do u have piercing: Yup.
Were there many question: Really ask a lot.HAH
Do u like to eat ice:I eat ice cream
Do u happy now: Im moody
Who u care the most: My friend and him.
What is the most important thing in the room: air con,no aircon I cant asleep well
No friends, how would u do:Better I don survive
If an angel give u a desire to achieve, what u want: Wish being a human no sadness at all
Do this problem a waste: No
Favourite fruit:honeydew,watermelon,mango,avocado,strawberry,banana,too much~I love fruits!
What question do u afraid of when people ask u:What is ur weight~HAHA
Do u like the snow: Not bad.
What u want to be on ur next life: Trying to be a male?HAHA
Do u hope to tagged again: No idea.
Do u like to wait people if u are free: wait ppl for?

心在一起吗？

心情不好就想打中文
这样比较容易表达还是比较贴切？

发现自己好像越来越不会表达
是不诚实了吗 还是害怕说穿了的结果
隐瞒远远比毫不保留的说来的痛苦
讨厌这样的自己 胆小懦弱没带种

为什么朋友要交那么容易 要维持那么难
为什么要失去10个朋友那么简单 挽回一个朋友那么难
为什么要找到有难同担的不可能 有难各自飞的满街跑
用真心对待 却往往得到残酷的现实
从小就听爸爸说 朋友之间的维持之道都跟利用价值有关系
当没有价值了就只会看到彼此的缺陷 没有优点
那时根本不相信 因为单纯的认为朋友之间就只有
我跟你好 ，还是不跟你好
长大后开始印证原来是真的，人好现实
我不主动跟别人说
HELLO，NICE TO MEET YOU，CAN I BE FRIEND WITH YOU？
因为总是认为交到朋友是凭一种感觉
很真实的感觉，不需要假笑 扮友善就可以有一种很奇妙的感觉
就会自自然然的讲话，了解，建立友情
在现实生活，虽然每次都给人感觉很有距离感，很难接近
但是这样也许是种很好的门槛，只要能够开口跟我说话就没有什么好可怕


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我们6个，到底怎么了
为什么就那么脆弱？那么容易被影响？
以前那班一直有什么都讲，有出一定都会出现的家伙去了哪里？
我想回到以前那样 没有秘密 没有心病 没有误会

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还有2个月时间可以跟你们这样疯狂了
很不舍得
朋友，可以有更多这样的回忆吗？

Tagged by BabyArthur

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you.At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.You have to tag the person who tagged you.

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage= Honey lemon.
2. last phone call = my baby
3. last text message = is him too
4. last song you listened to = Taylor Smift,Love Story
5. last time you cried = This wednesday

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = Nope.
7. been cheated on = Doesnt really understand
8. kissed someone & regretted it = Never.
9. lost someone special = My grandpa?
10. been depressed = Sure,
11. been drunk and threw up = Never

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Silver
13. White
14. Pink

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend = Yup ,alot
16. Fallen out of love = Hmmm..?
17. Laughed until you cried = HAHA,more even than cried tat is stomachace
18. Met someone who changed you = Yes,especially him
19. Found out who your true friends were = I think so,true friend hard to get
20. Found out someone was talking about you = I think so.
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = Lol,the one who in relation with me

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = All my fb friends was my real life friends .
24. Do you have any pets = Currently don have
25. Do you want to change your name = I love my unique name
26. What did you do for your last birthday = Celebrate with him,and hope the next birthday he can give me more surprise and greater than this
27. What time did you wake up today = 8.30am,u tot i wanna wake so early on saturday morning?if not i need going to work?
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = Reached home after hang out with frens,and sleep like pig.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = Getting more slim and slim.
30. Last time you saw your Mother = Few hours ago before she slept
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life =Can sucess everything in my life
32. What are you listening to right now = No music for now.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = Never got any friend as tom
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = My career
35. Most visited webpage = blogger,facebook and friendster
36. Where you want to be right now = Beside him and hug him tightly
37. Nicknames = Yoanne,Jiao ma and ....
38. Relationship Status = In the relationship
39. Zodiac sign = Pieces
40. Male or female? = Female.
41. Elementary? = TBS
42. Middle school = SMK Lok Yuk Likas
43. Hair colour = Dark brown
44. Long or short = Medium long
46. Height = 162
47. Do you have a crush on someone = wat mean?
48. What do you like about yourself = Enough ordinary
49. Piercings = Love it,i gonna had another belly pierce!
50. Tattoos = Not yet,still waiting apporvement by him
51. Righty or lefty = Righty =D

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery = havent did any surgery yet
53. First piercing = Mayb 3 years old,my 1st ear piercing.
54. First best friend = forget
55. First kiss = LAst year,and for him
56. First vacation = Alamak,who remember?
57. First crush = Wat mean is crush?

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = Nothing,i hope can eat.
60.Drinking = still the honey lemon
61. I'm about to = Finishing this tag and sleep
62. Listening to = No song now
63. Waiting for = Novemeber coming

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? = Yes , for sure
65. Get married = Yes.i do
66. Career = I need it badly

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes = eyes
68. Hugs or kisses = Love it
69. Shorter or taller = Mayb 160cm for me n him is better
70. Older or Younger = As now is ok
71. Romantic or spontaneous = Romantic ^^
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = BOTH needed
73. Sensitive or loud = HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAl...............
74. Hook-up or relationship = Relationship !
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Trouble Maker =D

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = Never...
77. Drank hard liquor = Sure
78. Lost glasses/contacts = Yeah,of coz
79. Sex on first date = Erhm.it mean 1st love?
80. Broken someone's heart = I think i did
81. Had your own heart broken = YES !
82. Been arrested = Hahas ,once ii guess ?
83. Turned someone down = Im so apologize
84. Cried when someone died = C who siin .
85. Fallen for a friend? = Blaaaa blaaaaa

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = Depands,i not really trusted myself sometimes
87. Miracles = Perhaps
88. Love at first sight =Kinda
89. Heaven = Wooohooo
90. Santa Claus = Not really
91. Kiss on the first date = Yeah.
92. Angels = Who i loved they r angels

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf?= Hmmm..ex?
95.Did you sing today? = Yea.
96. Ever cheated on somebody? =I did
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? =I don wan to back in time,i just look forward and let the past tense pass away.
98. Are you afraid of falling in love with somebody else? = I afraid to stop loving somebody else.
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = Up to u to believe it or not.

Attention

Ps for who got order lens with me last week
My closing lens date is 27 /08
before i went kl i did done all the banking and recieve all the payment from my lens customer
and the lens actually should be reached this wed tat is 02/09
And i gonna to apologize that the lens delay until next week wed only can reached
because my supplier been taxed by kastam,and some of the lenses i still have to wait my supplier to post me next monday.
This is the 1st time i get delay from my supplier.
I wanna apologize to who order lens with me,hope u all can understand =)
No worries,the lens is coming soon..
Thanks for being patient ^^

Be right Back

Im back
2 days ago,im so sorry
no time to updated too detail about my trip
because i dunno how should i express everything here.
But im fine=)

29th Aug , 11.45am flight
early morning 8.30am christine come n fetch me to take breakfast 1st b4 go airport
go lintas maybank bank in ,and we found tat time is kinda late so we go airport eat mcd
ben reached airport too,we 3 take our breakfast at mcd
thanks lot my dear christine n ben,u 2 always be with me when i need u guy
love ya.

reached klia around 2pm,take klia express to kl sentral
baby wait me there and we down to bukit bintang
still the same favourite place we overnite at..
straight to shopping and take our dinner
rest after countdown his birthday,and supper
im tired
==

after the few days,we keep got quarrel just because something really tiny,
well,as wat he said,babe,i think ur period is coming soon rite?so u keep being emo and hot tempe.
I knew tat is 1 of the reason,and i really found tat,i cant control my emotional at all.
And after i back kk,i notice tat im kinda silly and childish
But the experience he did really make me cant forget forever.
U never know feeling how bad when u lost.
Anyway,i hope everything can be fine now,and i hope nothing will changed between us.

look abit chubby he.hahahaha


the good bye kiss before i leave kl.

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to be continue
BRB